Monthly Archives: April 2013



He heard her speak to Maria showing how her kittu walking cutely. Her voice just made him drown further into his pain… she still managed to withstand all that!! he slowly walked out and saw her playing with her kittu…she got so attached to it so quickly!! She indeed have no limits to her love! She lifted kitu up in the air and twirled around…poor baby got scared and tucked itself closer in her arms. Geet laughed seeing it like that, “oyeee kittu is scared baby… chalo no more twirling..”, she caressed its nose with her index finger.


He saw her so happy after so many days…speaking to everyone…like how she was. He went back to his study and sat on his chair, holding the diary close to his heart! Could anisha had asked her to stay away from him? he saw her smiling face on the day of his wedding… he remembered she didn’t stay at km. Rather she was staying with anisha… her funda was simple—she wanted to be from the girl’s side! She hadn’t even spoken to him properly and he assumed she was busy! He assumed! Well everyone was busy with the preparations… but how could he fail to read geet? it had never happened like that…he was the one who knew everything about her…every single thing…then where did he go wrong?




He stood by the window, watching the rain pouring outside. It was dark…and it had been raining heavily the whole day. He looked at the time…umm around 8pm it was. He heard the door creak open and she walked in, making sure little dia was fast asleep. She went quietly went and changed into her night suit and sat on the bed. None spoke…which was hated by him! what had gone wrong between them? It never happened that they stayed away from each other…but things are really not smooth now.


She looked at him sadly wondering why he looked so lost. No matter how hard she tried to keep every memory of geet away from them, she failed miserably every time. She could still remember the moment when geet had accepted her love for maan. She had slapped her instantly…how could she do that to her? she missed geet but she was scared…scared if maan might get drawn to geet. somewhere she had come in terms with the fact that no matter how close she is to maan, there is something more in their friendship that could never vanish even after geet was gone. But she couldn’t accept that truth… she knew someday she’d be left all alone. She had seen their friendship..their care for each other…that love between them..that they were still unaware of… she was scared she might lose her love.

“mumma is in Chandigarh…”, she heard him speak out of no where. She snapped back to reality and looked at him. he still stood by the window facing away from her. she kept gaping at him for a while…mumma…as in jasmeet aunty? Her heart skipped a beat.

“am going there tomorrow… I might find geet…”

Tears made their way out of her beautiful eyes… she is losing.  Her fears are coming true. If they come together…she might just be left all alone in life! She ran and hugged him from the back, “no…please don’t go…”

He didn’t like it! doesn’t she know how much geet means to him? she was the one who gave him a new life after his par5ent’s death and she is asking him not to go for her!!! he recalled the previous times whenever he tried to talk about geet, anisha always got hyper or avoided the topic…to an extent that her desperate efforts to keep him with her had turned into heartbreaking arguments and her breaking down. He could never see her so much broken… and hence let it go. But how can he today when e was so close to his goal? And whatever happened to that girl who loved geet more than her own sister? Why does she not want her back? Everything was so frustrating. He knew this was going to end up in an argument…but his patience was giving up! He pushed her hands away and turned to look at her, “am not going to let go this time!!”

“maan…please…humare liye… geet aapko chodkar jaa chuki hain…”

[maan..please..for us…geet has already left you..]

He knew geet would never leave him alone no matter what. He had that much trust on her. he just knew it! hearing the same thing once again from anisha actually made him mad. He held her shoulder and shook her violently, “tumhare liye…tumhare liye hi we have come so far anisha… its already 3 years just for you that am not able to find her…”

[for you… just for you we have come so far anisha… its already 3 years for  you that am not able to find her.]


She looked down, thinking something. This was again going to end in a bitter argument. He left her and walked a step ahead when he heard her speak coldly, “you are not going anywhere…we wont let you go!”

He turned back amazed to hear that coldness filling her. he hated it…just hated it too much.

“whats wrong with you anisha…how come you have started disliking geet so much? I can’t believe you are the same anisha whom I once knew…”

She raised her head to face him, looking directly into his eyes which intimidated him.

“yes… we dislike her… we hate her… we don’t want you to go to her ever…”

If this was the last chance, she might use all her weapons  as well. But somewhere… somewhere deep inside she knew she had already lost the war. But she’d never let her love walk out on her. never ever she’d let that happen!

He was shocked to hear something like this. All these years she was like this because she hated geet? why? She was definitely out of her mind.

“are you out of your mind?”, he raised his voice a bit!

She laughed, “ohh yes we are maan… we hate her! she snatched away everything from us…every little peace that we had… every little happiness that we had expected… she left but she didn’t spare our heart…left us to die every single moment of our life with you…you belong to us and only us maan…”


“what are you saying anisha? Whats wrong with you? Why would geet do that?”, he knew she was possessive about him but today what he saw was her obsession for him.

“who knows why she would…”, she refrained from telling him the real reason but she continued, “we have never seen such a disgusting characterless girl like her in our entire life… using us as a stepping stone to get to the top…”


And the next moment she felt a sharp sting on her cheek…she stumbled backwards in shock! Maan had never raised his voice on her… and today… she just couldn’t take it. she stood there like a statue and saw him seething in anger!

“how dare you? HOW DARE YOU say something like that? I will find her no matter what… and do you even know what she means to me? Dare you say a word against her anisha…I…I will…”


He stopped seeing tears in her eyes. Her skin had turned red with his slap and she just looked right into his eyes, questioning him so many things! He  realised what he had done…which itself was a shock for him. how could he? How dare he raise his hand on anisha? He looked at his hands and then back at her.

“anisha…I…I didn’t…”

She didn’t even let him speak. She walked out angrily, wiping her tears. He ran after her, “anisha wait…am sorry honey please…stop…”

Her tears didn’t stop. She had lost the battle. Geet won… she left yet she was still very much there with them. She had lost her love… she lost completely! She couldn’t even hear out his call. She was so lost in her thoughts…so lost and dejected!

“anisha stop…where are you going? Anisha…”


She walked even faster. Maan tried to maintain calm as dadima was still awake and was in her room. One year old dia was sleeping with namra. He didn’t want to disturb anyone. He looked here and there and towards her. she had already walked out of the door. What has he gone and done? He ran out and was horrified to see her drive out the car. The rain was no where neat stopping. He panicked. Where could she go like this? He tried to call her…but then it was of no use he knew. He ran to another car and drove right after her.


The lanes were deserted…the rain blurred the vision. He was getting scared. She was driving too fast. He hated himself for doing something like this to her. true he hated her speaking ill about geet but he shouldn’t have raised his hand on her. he saw her take a sharp turn towards the highway. He got even more scared because he had expected her to at least drive towards thakur haveli or some place where she liked.


Her mind was occupied with so many things. Rain and tears made it impossible for her to see a thing but still she drove like a maniac. Why did she lose? Why couldn’t she keep maan only for her? no matter how hard she tried…she failed to save her love. Her efforts were wasted…she couldn’t keep him away from geet. she lost…she couldn’t do anything!


She wiped her tears but the light in front was too strong for her to see. She didn’t even know what happened…but she felt her entire body ache badly. Unbearable pain it was… just like that in her heart. She tried hard to look around and smiled feeling the wet road beneath her. she didn’t even know what happened with her but it hurt so much. she smiled and looked up at the sky..the rain was subsiding. She was completely blank by now but only one thing lingered in her mind, “you win geet… but we wont lose either. If not in this… we will have maan only for us in our next life…”

She  heard horns and sirens but it was getting difficult for her to even open her eyes. She was reminded of dia and namra… her princesses…her dreams…and a lone tear escaped her eyes, “be happy my…princesses…”

Before closing her eyes she smiled hearing a voice… a voice that was so dear to her life… a voice that encompassed her entire world… a voice that she loved more than anything else…a voice that she longed to hear before giving into the darkness that started surrounding her. she smiled again…may be just a fragment of her imagination!!




he snapped open his eyes, panting furiously. Was that a dream? He blinked a couple of times to make sure it was just a dream. It was just a dream…but the events had completely changed his entire life! He felt something very close to him. he looked up only to see geet’s face, mere inches away from her and her hand on his forehead.

She had come to call him and show him improvements in her kittu when she saw him sleeping on the chair, holding something very tightly in his arms. She inched closer and saw tears at the corner of his eyes. His forehead was wrinkled in agony…how could she even move away? Her heart didn’t let her go away from him. she wondered why he looked so tensed… but she felt restless. What was it that could have hurt him? she leaned closer and wiped his tears but he still looked so much in pain. She placed her hand over his forehead, caressing him. she didn’t know why but she wanted him to wake up. If dreams hurt this much…then he must not dream at all!


He looked into her eyes that looked so worried…yet she never showed it on her face. He had relived those moments again… his eyes filled up and he hugged her tightly. He didn’t even realise when he had pulled her on to his lap but he just wanted to remain like that for a while. he was scared.. seeing anisha go..seeing geet drifting away from him…he had even found geet lying in the rain that night… he held her even tighter, squeezing her close and closer.


She felt chocked with his hold. She wanted to push a bit but sat numb, feeling wet over her shoulder. Was he crying? She didn’t know what to say or do now… she had never seen him this emotional ever. She felt her heart beat after such a long time… like she had forgotten that she had a heart that could beat too. She had shut herself so tightly..but seeing him like that… she couldn’t stop herself. She wrapped her arms around him and gently caressed his back, “its just a dream maan… just a dream…”, she whispered in his ears.

He held her close for how long he never knew. She was turning numb with his tight hold but she never let him go. There was complete silence… and the only sound that echoed in the room was their breaths. He didn’t want to part away from her. only the person who had lost his most precious thing once and then found it would really understand how it feels.

Maria came to call them for lunch and went in, seeing the door open, “ma’am lunch…am sorry”

She immediately walked out seeing then like that. ohh she should have knocked…she cursed herself. But then she smiled seeing the love between them. She saw kittu come to her and meow. She smiled and lifted it up, “leave your mamma papa alone for a while and come take a round in the kitchen with me..”

She had seen unresponsive and aloof she was when she was here for the first time and then the slow change in her behaviour after kittu’s arrival. She had even become open with Maria which Maria really liked. She never treated her like a maid but rather like a friend.


Maan heard Maria and saw her walking out. He was calmer now. He liked the warmth he felt… and yet again everything had to end on her. she was like his personal heaven…where things started on her and ended on her as well. He felt her still and immediately loosened his grip. He cupped her face, “am sorry… it must have hurt…”

She felt better seeing him calm. She gave  a faint smile, and shook her head slightly. He caressed her face, “lets go for lunch…your kittu must be waiting for his mamma to feed  him…”

“ahh…kittu… I forgot…”, she bit her lips and ran out. She had completely forgotten about everything else seeing maan like that.

He saw her run and smiled. No matter how hard she tries, she can’t shut herself from him completely. Its just the matter of time that she unleashes all her emotions. He looked at the diary he was still holding. She hasn’t seen it perhaps! He sighed and kept it safely between his files. He knew geet never fiddled with his office stuffs. She is very careful about them.


Geet noticed him very quiet and low all through the day. Her day went haywire. Though she spent her entire time playing with her kittu, doing random stuffs around the house but her mind was still with him. could the impact of the dream remain so long? For some reasons she didn’t like it. and by the end of it..she was really thoughtful. She wanted to see him smile..she wanted him to speak to her like he tries all the time. He was totally lost in something that she hated to the core. He was not after her for having her medicines, he was not after her for running around the house searching for kittu… he was not after her for tiniest of things. She wanted him to at least smile. And she just didn’t even think why this was so. She just gave into her feelings.

For maan, it was really difficult to concentrate on anything. Everything he did or saw reminded him of that very night..making him miserable and restless. He kept himself busy with some random calls to his office or some clients or anyone for that matter. He just wanted some time alone. But geet’s heart was restless. Even in the evening he just sat in the lawn quietly sipping his tea. She had t do something.

She went to him and stood beside him quietly, hesitating to speak. He felt that and looked at her, “geet…if you have to say something..please speak it out..”, he said lovingly.


She took a deep breath in..she wanted to distract him badly from all those negative thoughts. She played with her fingers waiting for him to look at her but he never did. She had to do something. She closed her eyes and blurted out, “I want to go shopping…”

He chocked his tea…shopping? goodness…was she asking for shopping? He looked at her in amusement…wondering if it was really her. she had not stepped out of the house since the day they have come… he had even not expected something like that out of the blue…but somewhere he was glad that she was slowly getting back to normal. Though he was not very much interested but this was the first time she had asked anything…how could he even deny!! He agreed and went to change.

She sighed, “geez..the way he looked at felt as if I was from outer space…”

She rolled her eyes wondering why he was looking at her like that and went to get ready. But when the moment came to leave, she was totally in tears, leaving her kittu and going away. Maria laughed seeing her kissing her kittu again and again.

“ma’am… please enjoy your shopping…i will take care of kittu…”

Maan rolled his eyes…nautanki-panti is back!

“geet… Maria is there..and you yourself wanted to go shopping! You really don’t want to..then we can drop the plan…”

“NO…”, came her curt reply. She didn’t want him to go back to his melancholy for again.

“we are going…”, she made a brave face, “Maria…you better take care of my kittu in the best possible way…”

“yes ma’am…rest assured…”


The drive was silent with geet still worried about her kittu, though not showing it to maan. It was like she had left her life behind. Maan saw her restlessness and shook his head.

“geet…if you really wanna go back…then we can…don’t think so much…”

“nahi… we will go shopping…”

She tried her best to distract hi and herself picking up everything on her way. Maan was amused to see her like that but it was okay… he had missed that. he smiled and followed her. she brought gifts for kids, dadima, roops, mamma, nakul kaka, maria and of course a whole range of products for kittu. She was distracted…while he just kept on watching over her. she was enjoying after a long time…he might not disturb her. she picked up a few cute dresses for herself that she liked… and the bill looked like a huge mountain. He took out his wallet when she held his hand, “you didn’t buy anything for yourself?”

“nah…am not in need of anything as of now…”, he smiled and paid the bill. They stopped at a restaurant and had their dinner. Geet was really enjoying after a long time. She was excited to check out her dresses…like she had missed being herself…doing lots of fun…and her ‘nautanki…’ and adding cherry on top was maan’s pampering to each and everything she wanted or ordered.


She waited for him in the car. He was taking more time. She sighed and looked out only to see him thrust a huge cup of Belgian dark chocolate on her hands. She was delighted…her favourite!!! She looked at him with wide eyes… he did nothing but gestured her to eat and drove home.


Kittu was asleep by the time she reached home. She kissed its head and thanked Maria for taking care. She gave Maria her gift and asked her to retire. Maria was really touched with her gesture…no mistress would do something so personal for a maid. Her respect for geet increased even more. Geet carefully placed kittu’s basket beside her side of the bed and went to change. She looked into her bags and found the shirt she had randomly picked up for maan. She just liked its color and thought  it would suit so just picked it up without even checking the size. She looked around and found maan come out wearing his vest and tracks. He was keeping his clothes in the cupboard when he felt something slide over his back…caressing his exposed skin, followed by brushing of her hands. He stilled for a while…what was she doing?

Geet wanted to check if it fit him or not. So she ran holding it and placing it on his back, checking the kitting. It looked a bit small. Maan waited for her to move…she was really making his head spin.

“geet…what are you doing?”

“umm…don’t you think its a little short?”, she spoke, lost.

“what is short?”, he rolled his eyes.

“wo..i bought this t-shirt for you randomly… but now it seems its short…”, she spoke sadly, still trying to get her guess correct about the size.

It was like a dream coming true for him…she was opening up, slowly but surely. But the fact that she brought this for him was a feeling too overwhelming..a ray of hope in the dark… a small gift for his persistence… and  a little boost to express himself. He turned around and jerked her close, holding her elbow. She collided with his hard chest, totally unaware.


ouch…maan...”, she looked up in to his eyes!! They were looking directly into hers…like he was trying to read her. she felt so vulnerable to that piercing gaze…she had never felt this intensity ever in his proximity. They were close…real close. His breath fell over her lips making them go dry. She heard her heart beat…once again and this time picking up speed. She was allowing the cracks in the walls to widen. Instinctively, her tongue rolled over  her lips to battle the dryness…his eyes were instantly drawn towards them. He eyes her lips and then looked back into her eyes. She felt so vulnerable.

maan…“, she whispered, trying to stop what she was feeling now…trying to stop her heart from beating so loud…

“so you like to play with”, he bored into her soul with his gaze. When she felt she’d just give up, he left her hand and moved away, “sleep geet…its late…”

She sighed and placed her hand over her was beating so fast. She just didn’t want to think anything. She kept away all her stuffs and went to sleep.

He was again back in his study holding her diary!! He had made a wild guess that anisha might have asked her to stay away… she was scared… she was insecure!!! He felt miserable…anisha could do this to geet…but was she wrong? She was not perhaps in some way!!!


He turned to the next page where he had left last…but it was shocking. There were hardly any entries  made. He flipped pages over pages… she had written maximum 4-5 entries in those 5 years!!! the entries were small…just one liners! Why?? He turned to see the first entry and the date!

“… landed in Mumbai today… I don’t even know where to go next!”

She was here?? He turned the pages further to know more on what she did and what not. But there were no entries made. He panicked…why did she not? There he found another entry… he was curious to know how she survived!!

“…Maan…i got my first job here…i feel so happy…yet I feel so empty. I can’t even share this with you…”

He felt his heart fill with that pain once again! She was all alone…all by herself… she had no one to even share her happiness with!!! He caressed the writing… and kissed at the place where she put her signature. He went back to their room and saw her asleep. He went closer to her and kissed her forehead softly. He watched her for a while under the sifting moonlight…and slept off beside her.



Posted by on 28/04/2013 in ~Parineeta~




am a little unwell..pls bear with the update!Ouch

“chi… kitna bekar barter hain… cake mein sugar bhi chahiye hota hain…and you added excess cocoa powder…yuck…it tastes horrible..”

[chi…its such a horrible barter… cake also needs suger and you added excess cocoa powder..]


He smiled seeing her make faces. She snatched away the bowl and made necessary corrections, adding more condensed milk and sugar and butter. He just wanted to hold her close to his heart and keep her there forever and ever! He had missed her a lot!


She buttered the dish, poured the barter and kept it in the microwave, setting the temperature, still wondering at the fact as to why he needed to make cake during dinner time. She washed her hands and saw him doing the table. But she was in no mood to even eat anything. She went back to her kittu and found it still asleep. She caressed it softly, feeling so much at ease to see that little baby..a the storm within her probably ended the moment she held him in her arms… she wasn’t angry or scared of anything. Maan just kept on looking at her, observing every little change in  her. its just a few hours since kittu came home and here she was already healing. For him, kittu was like a light in the darkness. He knew what he had to do now. But the surge of emotions that flooded his heart was just too much. he wished there was someone who could listen to him, just then his phone rang. God is probably being very kind to him today. It was dadima. He looked at geet who now held her kittu in her arms and caressed it. he went to the lawn and received the call.


He heard her voice after so many days. His eyes filled up while his voice trembled. “da…dadima…”

Dadima had missed them so much but she was shocked to hear maan’s trembling voice. She was scared of her children getting hurt. Was geet okay?


“maan…whats wrong beta… are you okay? Is geet fine?”

He smiled through his tears, feeling so calm after hearing her voice.

“umm..we are okay dadima…”

Dadima wondered if he was okay. It seemed as if he might breakdown right at hat moment, “maan…are you hiding something? Tell us every little thing…”

He couldn’t hide himself from dadima, “she loved me dadima…”, he whispered!

Dadima was surprised hearing that…because thats  what everyone knew right! but she remained silent, giving him a cue to speak up further, which he eventually did.

“she had loved me since the time she had come back home… throughout college…and even after that…and I never knew anything!!! Why dadima? Why didn’t I know?”


He was so emotional. All this while he had kept himself firm and strong in front of geet but dadima’s voice just seemed to stir his determination. On the other hand, dadima tried to think of the situation…did he come to know that he was the one whom geet had always loved? It must be it!! she didn’t know what to tell him… but she wanted him to know every little thing about geet as well. It was irrelevant even to know what was the source of his knowledge…but what mattered the most was his realization.

“may be because you were not supposed to know…may be it was not the right time maan..”

He tried to understand her words but she spoke again, “hows geet? is she any better now?”

A smile crept on his lips thinking of that smile he had seen on her lips. He told her everything about her being angry after they left…their trip to Mumbai…her keeping aloof and then advent of kittu in her life. Dadima was so much at ease. But geet’s inclination towards the kitten was enough to tell dadima her state of mind…she was seeing her baby in that kitten. Her eyes filled up… she had suppressed so much within her. she didn’t want to tell maan anything t all because she wanted him to know geet all by himself.


“maan…just give her time and try to get to the bottom of her heart…because the heart of a woman is like deep sea…the more you dive in..the more you feel lost..”

He nodded silently when he heard the kids shouting in the back asking dadima to give them the phone. Maan smiled…he wanted to hold his princesses close to his heart. He was missing them very very much. he spoke to them for a while when the kids wanted to speak to geet.

“okay…be on line..let me call geet…”

He walked inside and saw her still holding kittu close to her heart. He shook his head and whispered in her ears, “geet…bachon ka phone hain…tumhe baat karni hain?”

[geet…its the kids…you want to speak to them?]


Her eyes twinkled in joy hearing his words. She looked at him with wide eyes and then at her kittu. It was still under the effect of medicines. She carefully placed it in its basket and took the phone and started walking towards the lawn. She was hurrying up when she tripped and lost her balance. He was right beside her so it didn’t even take him to hold her from falling.


She glared at him, “shhh…he is sleeping… tum usey jaga doge…”

[shhh he is will wake him up.]

He let her go and smiled to himself. He followed her and stood by the door while she walked in that cool grass, taking the call.

“hieee princess…”, her voice clearly seemed happy to have spoken to them.

“mumma… we miss you…”, they both screamed from the other side. Geet giggled hearing them like that. maan just kept watching the sudden changes in her…like she wasn’t restraining anything.  She was being so natural…and he just loved it.

“mumma…pata hain we went skating today and roops massi was so good…”

They spoke and spoke while he just kept on watching her and heard her speak about kittu as well.


“arrey tumhe pata hain…i got a kittu for you…”, and she went on telling them how she found kittu today and how it was so cute. He could just stand all night and hear her speak like that… he missed her laughter..he had missed her speak..he had missed her smile. And the realization that she was always his was what made him get going. He left her alone and went inside. She joined him a little later and both had their dinner together…more  of maan feeding her and she being busy with her kittu.


She felt that warmth in her sleep that she had always desired. She made herself comfortable and dozed off. It was around 5 am when he carried her sleepy form to the car. Of course before leaving he made sure her kittu was safe. He wanted to do something simple yet something special for her. he knew she never fancied costly gifts…extravagant dinner dates…all she wanted was just a little time.

He made her sit in the car and she didn’t even bother to open her eyes and see where they were going. She had never had this peaceful sleep ever.  She dozed off again. After a while she felt him carry her again but this time a cold wind made her curl more into him. it was cold and the wind was colder. He looked at her, trying to snuggled even closer to get away from the cold wind and smirked. He gently lowered her on her feet, letting the water touch them.


Her anklet in one leg chimed with the cold touch while was startled to feel something so cold under her feet. She snapped open her eyes only to see that vast sea right in front of her. she was awed by the sight in front of her. a slight red spread over the horizon giving way to the mighty sun and the waves washed over the shore, kissing her feet. It was a beautiful sight to behold.. she was so lost in it. she stood there for a while without even blinking her lashes. Her hands instinctively wrapped around herself feeling that chilled wind. She felt him hug her from the back, making her feel the warmth. She was too lost to even say anything. Her hands held his around her waist as both looked towards the horizon seeing the streaks of light from the sun, slowing rising above.


“its beautiful…”, she whispered after a long time. The morning was so beautiful. He didn’t reply, rather moved away a bit, held her hand and walked ahead slowly, battling with the waves that washed their feet. The wind played with her hair while she looked at the man who made this possible. He was walking ahead, holding her hand and she just followed. She kept on looking at him…while he just walked. She felt so many things all at once..wasn’t this what she had always wished upon…to be by his side…be with him! she never realized she had lowered her barrier to him. she felt happy…after a very long time… a certain satisfaction that he was there…that was enough for her.

She felt his hand go loose and she stood still, amidst the waves. He went ahead, seeing some small boys play football in the sand in that morning sun. He joined them, trying to keep the ball safe. He was smiling…he looked so happy…she just stood there, watching him. she had shut herself so tight that she had even lost the hope that she’d ever feel anything like this ever again…but here she stood in the waters, lost in her thoughts for him.


She didn’t even know for how long they walked like that in the waters and he never let go of her hand. They never spoke a word either. She came back to her senses when she realised she was in the car and they were heading back home. It was then  it struck her that she had left her kittu behind. She panicked and held his arm that rested on the steering, “maan..kittu..? we left him alone…”

He rested his other hand over hers and smiled, “relax…kittu is fine. I have asked maria to come early. She will be there for him..”

She was still not convinced, “please hurry up na… I want to go to him…”

He sighed and within no time they were right in front of their farmhouse. She ran out, calling out to her kittu. She ran to her room where she had placed kittu, right beside her bed but panicked to see him missing.


“kittu…” she called out. She looked here and there but she couldn’t find him. she checked behind the curtains and in the washroom… she even looked around the lawn. Maan saw her running around and held her firm, “geet…relax..what happened?”

“wo..maan…kittu… wo nahi mil raha…”

[wo..maan…am not getting kittu…]

“what? I asked maria to be around! Where had you seen it last?”

“I had placed his basket right beside my side of the bed…”

He held her hand and hurried to their bedroom, “check it properly geet…he is he wouldn’t have gone far…”


Geet checked all over again but couldn’t find it. her hazels sparkled in tears, “kittu…where are you bacha? Kittu…”, she almost cried.

It was then when they heard a faint “meow..”

Geet got alert and looked around…it was definitely from this room, “kittu…??”


She immediately kneelT down and looked under the bed! There sat her kittu, all curled up, calling for her, scared to come out. It was like her life had come back! Maan smiled, feeling relieved. She forwarded her hand and got him out and hugged him, “tune tho dara hi diya tha mujhe…”

[you scared the hell out of me..]


Maan just shook his head and went out, giving privacy to the lovey dovey duo. Maria cleaned the house and prepared their breakfast. Geet fed kittu some biscuits, mashed in milk and then had her food. Maria was there with geet the whole day. Maan just saw the three of them getting really well. Even Maria had gelled up well with geet, taking care of kittu. He was quite happy seeing geet open up so much. he left them alone and got to his study. He replied to some mails and took out her diary. It gave him goosebumps… if he  felt so much vulnerable reading the last entry..he wondered how he will be able to handle the further entries. But then it was only the diary that can tell him why she went away from him. he turned the page over and checked the date…a few days later his engagement.

“…where did I go wrong? Am I at fault? Why has anisha di gone so far from me? Why does she not speak to me anymore? It hurts…it hurts so much… she at least has maan with her…and am glad that he is there! He will always keep her happy…i just know that! its okay if she doesn’t speak to me..but why does she not?…”


The entry was  just a small one… it had no poetic lines..she’d have been so upset, he guessed. But geet had mentioned anisha in her dairy for the first time..and that she wasn’t speaking to her! he tried to recall if they had any fight around that time… but he couldn’t find a reason as to why anisha would stop speaking…especially with geet when they were the closest to each other. He caressed his name written there…she trusted him so much! a smile crept on his lips..yet he could not ignore that pain reflected in her tone. he turned to the next page, curious to know what went wrong.


“…i have a promise to keep!!! Strangely, it doesn’t hurt today… did I expect that? this is probably my best gift to anisha di for whatever she has done for me all these years. i was true to myself…and I was true to her today—I love maan! And this cant be helped!

Mere saath guzare un lamhon mein

Tumne bahut kuch paya hoga…

Bahut kuch khoya hoga…

Kisi ko thukaraya tho kisi ko apnaya hoga!

Kisi se ladayi tho kisi ko sataya hoga…

Kabhi khushi…tho kabhi dard hisse aaya hoga!

Kiye honge mann chahe kaam kayi…

Naye ehsason se galatiyon ko sehlaya hoga…

Shayad cheen li ho kismet ne tumhari pyaari cheez koi…

Par ek nayi anmol cheez se zarur milwaya hoga!

Tum chahe bilkul na badle ho…

Par tumhara koi na koi andaaz zarur badla hoga!

Le jaa rahi hun mein wo saare pal sametkar

Jispar tumne kabhi apna haq jataya hoga!

Jee bhar ke jee lo ye kuch lamhein…

Shayad kal mera chehra tumhari meethi yaadon mein samaya hoga!

(Originally by me)

…I don’t know if I am going to see you again…speak to you again… hear you again… but you will be the one to stay in me forever! Just be happy wherever you are maan! I will miss you! I won’t back out… I have a promise to keep!”


He was shocked to read those lines!!! He checked the date…again a shock! It was the day he got married to anisha!!! He went back a few pages to see if he had missed anything post engagement but there were no entries made between his engagement and marriage! He read it again…and again… she had a promise to keep…what promise? And she had been true to anisha… does that mean she told anisha she loved him? he was going mad…what promise? Who made her promise? And those lines…brought tears in his eyes! She must have felt so helpless…like there was nothing but to move away!!!  The more he read..the more he got restless as to what kind of a promise she made!!! He closed the diary and closed his eyes…he cant even go and ask geet directly. He wanted to now everything now. Ohh this was insane! He gulped down a glass of water to calm himself…she just went away? Did anisha say something to her? she had mentioned that it was her best wedding gift to anisha… and then she wasn’t on speaking terms with her as well. Could it be that anisha asked her something… he read the last line which were for him! did anisha ask her to go away?


He was totally dumbstruck with the realization! He flipped through the next pages wanting to know what could have happened next! He was reminded of the moment everything he’d ask for geet, anisha would change the topic. The way she reacted hearfing geet’s name even after a year of their marriage… was something that made him believe on his suspicions. He had so many things to think about…but he wanted to know what happened to geet after that. he turned page after page…but to his utter shock, they were blank! There were hardly 4-5 entries made throughout those 5 years!!!


He kept the diary away and leaned back in the chair, trying to connect everything that he read! Geet said anisha wasn’t speaking to her post engagement and on their wedding,  she had been true to her about her love for him. if he thought from anisha’s pov, she was so possessive of him…then how could she have borne with that kind of revelation? She’d have been definitely angry…hurt… defeated! That would be the basic human instinct! And hearing something like that on your wedding was the worst part of anyone’s life!!!


Geet’s lines, that were for him were written on the same night…could it be that anisha had asked her to stay away from him? tears made their way down his eyes…is there no end  to this? Dadima’s words echoed in his mind, “the heart of a woman is like a deep sea…the more you dive in…the more you feel lost…”

Did he decipher anything wrong? Anisha was an example of a basic human instinct to protect her love…but geet? how hard it could have been on her? she lost her love even before she found it!!! he felt a sudden pain grip his heart… as he was reminded of the opening lines of her dairy, “…no matter the miles…no matter the sacrifice…”

He heard her speak to Maria showing how her kittu walking cutely. Her voice just made him drown further into his pain… she still managed to withstand all that!! he slowly walked out and saw her playing with her kittu…she got so attached to it so quickly!! She indeed have no limits to her love!


Next: more of diary


Posted by on 26/04/2013 in ~Parineeta~