P.S exams starts on Wednesday..i.e 13th
am off till 26th.. bye bye
She cried harder when she saw the image of the lady fading away..and the next moment she saw her dad pulling away the doll and throw it away, “you don’t need anyone’s false assurance to live.. you will live on your own terms… you will be strong… I will make you one…you are my pride Geet…”
She looked at her father..and then towards the fading image of her mother who still seemed to smile through her tears. She tried to run after that illusion…she forwarded her hand to catch it…and then it was gone…
“mom…”, she gasped and woke up with a start, breathing heavily. She was sweating profusely… may be it was the dream or the effects of the anti-pyretic. Nisha immediately cocooned her in her embrace and caressed her head, “shh… am right here…”
Geet held her close and closed her eyes. Another drop of tear escaped her eyes, touching nisha’s hands. Nisha was very worried to see Geet so vulnerable so suddenly. She knew Geet would never get this emotional over petty things…then there was definitely something that bothered her so much. she kissed her forehead, “Geet… how are you feeling now?”
She didn’t reply. She kept her eyes shut.. and she could still visualize the faint image of the doll she had held as a kid. She snapped open her eyes and sat up straight pushing away nisha. nisha was shocked to see her this disturbed. She tried to reach her, “Geet…”
She turned back to look at nisha..and then looked around the place. She sighed realizing it was her room. She got off the bed and walked to her closet. Nisha tried calling her..asking her to rest but she didn’t even hear a thing. She opened her closet and threw away all her dresses…searching for the thing that her heart desired. Nisha ran to her and held her hands, “Geet..ye kya kar rahi hain? You are not well… where do you plan to go now?”
Geet didn’t say anything.. but nisha could see the frustration on her face of not finding something she was searching for. Geet emptied her drawers…her cupboard..throwing things here and there and nisha couldn’t understand anything. She saw Geet get quite emotional and restless.
“Geet…tell me what are you look for.. I can help you…”
She was shocked to see tears on Geet’s eyes. Geet ran her fingers through her hair as she looked around, “mujhe nahi mil rahi hain wo Chachi… kahan rakh di meine… “, her voice broke.
[am not getting it Chachi… where did I keep it…]
Nisha looked into her closet again, “ok relax..tell me what are you searching for… you are not well. take rest…i will search it for you…”
Geet was just too restless to hear anything. She threw away her clothes here and there..her books… cushions.. everywhere scaring the hell out of nisha.
“why can’t I find her?”, she cried, ransacking the whole room. She was totally frustrated and could have gone mad had it not been her phone. Her eyes fell on the phone and she immediately checked the planner…she had a few meetings lined up. She closed her eyes in defeat and ran to the washroom to freshen up. She came out wearing a formal skirt and black shirt and slipped into her stilettos.
“Geet… you are not going anywhere…do you get it? just take rest…”
But Geet was nowhere near listening to anything. She just grabbed her purse and walked out hurriedly mumbling something, “I have to find her…”
Nisha ran after her but today Geet seemed too distant… more than what she had ever been. It was like she had closed herself even more tightly… this was so not right. she had never seen Geet in such a vulnerable state.. she had always been the strong headed girl who’d not even think twice before speaking out whatever was in her mind… but today she was seeing a very vulnerable person…breaking down…slowly!
Maan finished with his work… and rested back on his chair. It was just a matter of time and he will be off to London. he had some tour lined up before he actually be shifting to London forever. He had some work in London.. he will finish them off and then his tour..and almost after a month or two he will shift completely. He closed his eyes and recalled their moment when he had moved to London the last time. A smile played on his lips… she had come to the airport just because he had called her..she didn’t even question him once as to why he was calling. She had been so lively during those times.. but then she had turned so cold gradually. He will be going away forever…he was happy that he’d be leaving all those painful moments behind but his heart still cried. His heart wanted to see her once… speak to her once normally…and he just hated himself for still thinking like this. He played with the paper weight… wondering whether he should listen to his brain or go to her and let his heart be crushed once again.
She looked quite restless throughout the meeting..sasha noticed. In fact she had been quite restless since the time she had come back from the resort. She wondered if Geet was worried about something in particular. The moment the thank you slide popped up, she rushed out of the meeting hall surprising everyone. Sasha was surprised..geet was quite particular with her meetings and all. She apologized to everyone on her behalf and ran after her.
He stepped out of the lift… hating himself. He was actually here… listening to his heart.. trying to give it a try! He knew he will be insulted..his love will be insulted.. his ego didn’t even permit him to even look at her face but his heart cried. He wont be perhaps seeing her anymore ever again.. they were done! This was the end. He walked slowly towards his cabin, surprising everyone present there. he stood in front of her cabin…wondering if he should even knock or not. He just stood there…suddenly going completely blank… what to thnk.. or what to do. The Maan singh Khurana was actually thinking before entering someone’s cabin! His reverie was broken by some noises coming from inside..like something was being thrown away. He wondered if things were okay with her and peeped inside…only to see her cabin in a mess.
She had thrown away all her files and her cupboards ransacked… the room was in a mess… her books, files, papers strewn all over. She was probably going mad by now.. why did she keep it?? tears threatened her eyes but she held them back. Sasha tried to stop her, “ma’am…what are you searching for? Please let me know…”
Geet just looked at her worried, “you wont be able to find it Sasha… stay out of this..”, she screamed. She searched the entire room…behind the couches, under her table… everywhere!
Maan stood by the door…hearing her scream at Sasha. She still sounded ruthless. He wondered if he should have come here at the first place.
“but ma’am… you are not…”
“just stay out of this Sasha…just don’t you dare poke your nose into my matter…”, she warned her.
“somethings don’t change over time…do they?”
His heart felt like kicking his ego for blurting out something like this… but t couldn’t have been helped. He had so much been hurt…that every word of her now seemed fake. And her rudeness to Sasha just broke that thin line that separated his heart and his ego.
Geet turned around..only to see him stand by the door, with his hands crossed over his chest. He had that mean look on his face..but for now she was too disturbed to even think of anything. The last thing she wanted at this point of time was to be left alone.
“why are you here?”, she spat out. She wasn’t even thinking anything by this time… her entire focus was on that thing’ that she had been searching like a lunatic. She didn’t even wait for his answer…rather took out her boxes where she had kept her old stuffs.4
Here he was trying to speak to her… but his hurt ego and her frustrated heart seemed to rub the wrong side. He smirked..yet again being defeated by his heart..he shouldn’t have come here at all…well thats what it seemed now.
“I was wrong about you… I thought I could at least see you once before I leave… but I was stupid perhaps…”
Geet was getting irritated… she wasn’t getting her things..she wanted to be left alone.. but nothing seemed to work in favour of her today…her fever returned making her even more cranky and she just screamed at the top of her voice, “then what the hell do you want from me han? You came to see me… now that you are done… just leave me alone…just go away…!!”
And then she stopped…realizing what she had blurted out! Her eyes widened in shock… she was seeing him after so many days… he himself had come to her…wasn’t it what she had secretly wished for every single day… to be with someone who would never let her be lonely… somewhere her heart just accepted that he’d never leave her alone..and now that he was there… she ruined things with her own hands once again!!! she turned to look at him with tears threatening to fall…she was losing things very badly..but all she saw was immense hurt and those ruthless eyes accusing her of so many things.
“I just shouldn’t have come here…”, and he just walked out…hurt, dejected and defeated. He had come with so much hope… so much love in his heart but what he got in return? Coldness… rudeness and insult?
She stood there like a statue… what has she gone and done??? She tried to run after him but her fever made her dizzy, “maan…”, she could just barely mumble. Sasha held her and made her sit on the couch and made her drink some water. She drank some and closed her eyes…trying hard not to let those tears down.
He sat in his car and asked the driver to leave for the airport. He was proved wrong once again… he hated himself. He shouldn’t have gone… he just shouldn’t!! Tears escaped his eyes as he recalled every moment spent together with her. he tried to sleep as the flight took off… he was never ever going to see her again…never again!!!
She woke up after sometime and realised she had slept off in the couch itself. It was going to be 9 at night and she was cold. She recalled the moment when he just walked away… just like the image of her mom fading away. She felt choked.. she wanted to cry today… her mom..her dad…nisha..ana…maan..everyone seemed to move very far away from her. she took a deep breath in and looked for her phone. She still felt heavy headed..but there was no time to waste. She had another meeting with the team members of the joint collaboration that she had signed. Sasha came to remind her of the meeting.. but she asked her to go home.
“its okay Sasha…you go home and take rest. I shall leave once the meeting is over..”
“how can I…”
“sahsa.. I don’t like to argue and you know that well…and if you really want to work then go home and pray..because of the negotiation fails… I will make sure I chop your head off first…”
Sasha knew this was the Geet handa’ speaking to her. Things were getting confusing now. First she breaks up with maan…then this sudden frustration and restlessness..maan coming to meet her…her pushing him away…and now this avatar…she might just go crazy someday. She decided to get back home because she knew Geet would literally cut her head off. She handed her over the required files and went back home… but she was worried. Arjun would be there too…and she knew how much of a bas**** he was.
Geet stopped in front of the venue and checked the time. She was late by 10 minutes…all thanks to her fever. She gathered her files and rushed into the building. Things seemed so disturbed..office..home and her personal relationships were falling apart. The weather was chilly and she did feel the cold..both inside and outside. She caressed her arms and walked in. She was quite lost.. she wanted to see maan but things were getting complicated. She stopped near the lift and waited. But it was taking long. She turned towards the stairs when she felt someone hold her by her arms and dragged her inside the lift which had just arrived. She snapped away from that hold and turned back…only to see arjun…standing right beside her. the doors of the lifts closed.
She looked at him angrily and stepped away from him, looking away. A few minutes went in silence and it felt like the time had slowed down. She hated it…she still hadn’t forgotten what he had done to her in that disc. She was shocked to hell when she felt his hand slide across her waist as the door slid open. She was shocked with his actions and looked at him agrily, “get away from me arjun…”, she tried to jerk him off.
“come on sweetie pie… maan is not around and you don’t have to pretend okay…”, he winked and held her even more tightly. She felt disgusted with his thoughts. She tried to push away him hand but the more he tried the more he held close.
“arjun…ye kya badtameezi hain? Let go..”
[arjun..whats this behaviour? Let go…]
“we are right in front of the conference hall darling.. so if could just shut your lovely mouth up…”, he smirked as he slid the door open. Geet just pushed his hand away with all her might and rushed in. She took a seat at the farthest corner… farthest from arjun precisely and concentrated on the meeting. She listened to the proposals..and gave her input..but she could feel that lustful look on her and she just knew it was arjun. She knew there were people in the meeting who didn’t like her at all..but then she had to work with them. she stood up to give her presentation but no matter how much ever she tried…she just couldn’t ignore that disgusting gaze. She was definitely very uncomfy..and she just wanted to get back home. The meeting ended like round 11:30 and she just rushed out. He stopped her holding her hand, “I shall drop you…”
“thanks but no thanks…”, she spat out, “arjun… stay away from me..”
He smiled and pulled her close, caressing her cheeks, “how can I when you look this hot…”
She snapped her hand away, “what do you want?”
He eyes her from top to bottom, “you…”
She was hell irritated…but she smirked and then laughed, “and you think I will go to you?”
She had that Geet handa smile on her face while he was no less. HE leaned closer and whispered softly, “I know you wont… but then its fun to pluck the fruit that sits highest on the tree…and when the fruit is this sexy…”
She tried not to waver…this jerk thinks he will do anything and get away from maan!! She didn’t lnow why she thought that..but she had just known this from the first meet itself that no matter how it was between them…he’d never let anyone touch her a bit.
“well then Mr Arjun Rathode.. I am no fruit.. and dare you lay your finger on me.. I don’t think you will be even alive to see the next moment…”
She turned to leave but arjun got the hint what she spoke. he watched her walk away and shouted back, “you are lonely Geet…he isn’t here.. no ones here…”
She stopped…hearing those words…she was lonely..she had been lonely ever since..and his words seemed to remind her yet again of those memories that she was running away from. She felt the corners of her eyes burn with that unknown pain brewing up in her heart yet again.. something she had forgotten for the time being amidst her busy schedule. She heard his footsteps right behind her and then his thumb caressing her cheek, ” know you are lonely.. he isn’t there with you…remember…it was you who pushed him away…”
It struck her heard…it was her who pushed him away?? A lone tear escaped her eyes and he took it on his finger, “Geet handa is crying!! how pathetic you must be feeling baby… come on… lets have a drink together…”
He tried to drag her out but she just pushed away his hand and ran away with tears cascading down her eyes. She got into her car and drove out madly… he was right!!! he was so right… memories of their broken engagement flashed in front of her eyes…how hurt he was… her own words echoed in her ears… but even after all that he had come to visit her… but she was the one who pushed him away. He wasn’t there with her now… suddenly a huge emptiness emerged in front of her… her life was nothing but emptiness…true she was at the height of her career… but she was lonely…she had no one who touched her heart like maan…nisha loved her.. but she was not someone to whom she could open her heart…not even Ana… maan…he had gone so far away from her. she cried on her way back home… she never wanted this life…she hated it… she never wanted this yet she was made to live this life. she ran into the mansion, wiping her tears. Nisha was waiting for her in the living room. She was shocked to see Geet sobbing. She tried to hold her but Geet ran inside. nisha ran behind her… for she wasn’t going to her room.
“Geet… kya hua bacha… tell me…”
[Geet..what happened baby.. tell me…]
Geet ran to the store and switched on the lights. She picked up the cartons and threw away the things she had found.. she opened another carton and emptied it completely. Nisha just stood shocked by the door..seeing that sudden madness that seemed to consume her baby. She had tears in her eyes seeing Geet like that but then she left her cry..open up her heart to her own self.
Geet threw away those packets that lay scattered in the store…there were hers and Ana;’s toys…her first bicycle… her old books..old furniture… the entire store was in a mess but she didn’t stop…neither her tears did. She herself looked a mess.. shabby hair…dirty dress… tearful eyes… but she didn’t stop. She searched and searched and finally found a small carton… a small one. She tore it open… with the last hope and there it was… lying lifelessly…with that smile still adoring her lips. Geet stopped…a sudden wave of relief splashed over her face and she picked up the doll in her hands… she smiled through her tears…after ages perhaps. The doll still smiled just like she had..years ago.. but her dress was torn.. her hair was in a mess.. her plastic skin dirtied… but she still smiled. Geet wiped her tears like a kid, held the doll close to her heart and ran back to her room. She didn’t even hear nisha at all. She was lost in a world of loneliness that nothing seemed to reach her.