She looked quite irritated and went to sleep. The whole night she was restless..tossing and turning in her sleep. Maan woke up with her movements, pulled her close and held her tight, stilling her and slept off. The next day was going to a long one.
Roops was back with jasmeet the next morning…all set to leave. Dadima was ready…the kids were ready…their luggage was ready…and enthusiasm was on the high but the only person who kept aloof was geet. She never spoke to anyone and kept on checking with the kids again and again if they had taken their belongings, their soft toys that they hold at night…their shoes…while maan checked with dadima with her medicines and stuffs. He even checked with jasmeet who caressed his face lovingly, “i know you will get her back maan…you didn’t have to plan this trip..”
He looked at geet who seemed to speak to the kids and whispered to jasmeet, “she wouldn’t have come with me mumma if i had asked her directly… i had to make it a genuine reason…sorry…i troubled you so much…”
Jasmeet smiled, “its okay beta… anyways you both are not going to be missed…so better enjoy yourselves…”
There was a naughty glint in her words. He hugged her tightly, “thanks mamma…”
Geet held the kids’ hands tightly when it was time to leave. Everyone moved to the car while dia and namra struggled to let go.
“mamma…sab jaa rahe hain… hume der ho jayegi…”, dia tried to pull her hand away.
[mamma everyone’s going…we’ll get late…]
“we will take care mamma..aap worry mat karo…”
[we will take care mamma… you don’t worry]
Maan saw her still not willing to let them go. He went closer to the kids and hugged them, “be good okay… aur mujhe wahan pahunchte hi call karna… dadima aur choti nani ko pareshaan mat karna…okay..”
[be good okay… call me when you reach there… and don’t annoy dadima and choti nani..okay..]
Dia made a cute face, “aur roops maasi?”
Maan smiled and looked at roops who was looking at him intently, waiting for his answer. He smirked and looked at the kids, “she is an exception… you can irritate her as much as you want…”
Roops fumed while everyone giggled hearing that coming from maan. He kissed them and looked at geet who held their tiny hands tightly.
“papa…mamma ko bolo na hume der ho rahi hain…“, namra cribbed.
[papa…tell mamma that we are getting late…]
Maan walked and stood behind geet, “geet…sweety…let them go please…they are getting late…”
She just looked away, holding their hands even firm. Everyone got worried seeing her so adamant. They could clearly tell that she was upset…definitely not liking the kids going away. Maan went ahead and slowly pulled away dia’s hand from hers first and then namra’s. She hated it. Her fingers curled into a fist but she maintained her expressions. Maan knew he had to calm her down… he had to bear it all. The kids kissed geet and ran into the car and within no time the car was out of their sight. Maan sighed and turned to geet who still stood there with the same look on her face. He went closer and tried to hold her, “i know you are upset geet…but…”
He couldn’t even continue. She pushed him away with all her might and looked at him with certain expression that stilled him. He was sure he saw a huge sea of hurt…her eyes gave away her feelings..like they accused him of not being able to read them and stop the kids…they accused him of not understanding them when they needed it the most! She ran back to their room leaving him behind. He knew he had to manaofy her. he walked to their room and knocked, “geet…you in there? Open it please…”
There was no response. He heard some loud crash followed by complete silence. He got worried as to what she could have done. He knocked again and found the door open. He ran inside only to see her standing in the balcony, facing the garden. The floor was in a mess, pieces of glass and files scattered around. She was quiet but he could feel her breathe heavily as he neared her. he gently pulled her close and hugged her softly, “they will be back soon geet…don’t worry. Don’t you want to go to office today?”
She didn’t struggle..but she never responded to the hug either. She stood still hearing him speak. There was a complete silence in that bright morning. He felt her calm down a bit and left her. he brought her hands closer and pressed a soft kiss on their back, “chalo get ready i will drop you…”
He dropped her off right in front of her office and placed a kiss on her cheeks. She just glanced at him blankly for a moment and walked out. None in the office bothered her about anything especially after that slap fiasco. She didn’t even care about anything. She indulged herself in more and more work just to divert herself from thinking about the kids. It was as if a part of her had been take away from her.
It was around 7 when she walked out and she saw him stand there, waiting for her. he smiled and held her waist, leading her to the car. The drive was as usual silent. Geet observed him for a while…he looked tired and lost in his own thoughts. There was still the ‘geet’ within who wanted to ask him why he looked so lost.. or if there was something wrong but stopped herself…she just couldn’t. She walked out as soon as they stopped in front of the mansion. He asked the driver to get the car ready and walked in.
He entered their room and saw her getting into the washroom to freshen up. He sighed and took out the suitcases. Geet came out wiping her face after a while when she stopped seeing him pack her stuffs and then his. She wondered what was he upto..where were they going.. or what was he even planning. Maan felt her presence behind him and turned to her, “we’ve got a flight to catch geet. Finish your dinner and get ready…”
He saw her walk away without even asking where they were going or why or anything. He felt sad…she has gone so far…she as locked herself so firmly. He had some work in Mumbai so he decided to take geet along. It was for 2-3 days for he extended it for one whole 10 days just for her. he was done with their bags and headed towards his drawer where he had kept some files. He wished there was just a small miracle that brought her back…make her lower her barrier and let his love in. He sighed and took out some of his files when eyes fell on the same journal that he had seen earlier. It was coming to his vision again and again. He picked it up and checked it out carefully…trying hard to recollect where he had seen it. After giving a lot of thought he remembered the reason and smiled…anisha also possessed the same diary of different color. he recalled anisha had gifted it to geet on the day she had come back from London and geet had won that competition. hOw could he forget those days… the visions were hazy…it’s been so many years…it was about two of the most important persons in his life and they actually maintained the journal regularly. He shook his head and kept it back…they were the same. Anisha also maintained it even after marriage.
He turned to leave when something caught his attention…was that diary anisha’s? Could it be that geet had found it somewhere? Suddenly a thought reeled in his brain… could he find his answers through this diary? It was a possibility that he could find out what had happened or the reason behind those 5 years… anisha was definitely not in for geet during that time. Now slowly things began to fall on their right places…could it be that geet and anisha had a fight? He recalled anisha getting very irritated whenever he mentioned about geet…her insensitivity towards geet actually made him take that journal out again.
He knew it was wrong to read someone else’s diary like this but probably this was the best way to seek answers to a lot of questions. He kept his files aside and looked at the diary carefully. It was maintained very neatly as the cover spoke. He was very uncertain…his stomach somersaulted just by thinking about the fact he’d be finding out… he was curious…excited…nervous but still managed to open it. He was surprised to see the name written there. It read “geet-maan”, which had cute floral designs around it.
He knew the handwriting a little too well… he had expected it to be anisha’s…but somewhere he was glad that he found geet’s. She had kept it in the darkest corner of her cupboard…he had found it while shifting her things to his room. If life was giving him a chance to know about his love…he might grab it as well. He heard the door open and immediately closed the diary and hid it behind himself. It was nakul calling him for dinner. He looked here and there and kept the diary inside his laptop bag, safe to himself.
The dinner was silent while kept on looking at geet who munched her food silently. He looked at her intently…she looked really down. He thought about the opening on her diary…it was so touching…their names together…he wondered what he might read further.
She finished her food and went to get ready. He instructed stuffs to nakul and others and went to his room. She was wearing a white printed kurti with contrast red chudidaar. He sighed called the servants to take their luggage to the car. He got ready on casual denims and a grey shirt and looked into his phone.
“shall we move?”, he asked her pulling her close. She straightened her dupatta and silently walked out. How he wished she spoke to him…atleast ask him where they were going but there was nothing from her side. The entire drive was silent as maan expected. Even she sat quietly in the waiting lounge while he was busy texting someone over the phone. He looked at her sitting beside him. She was dozing off. He got a call from dadima which made him smile. The kids were on the line.
“hello..papa..we reached shimla…and its so cold here…“, namra squealed.
Maan smiled, “good na…you are escaping the heat… chalo speak to mamma first…she is very upset…”
Geet heard him speak to the kids…she was delighted and sat up straight immediately. She pulled away the phone the moment he forwarded it.
“beta…you are fine na…did you reach safely…did you have your food properly? It is very cold there...”, she kept on popping one question after another which made maan wonder at her concern. She had not spoken a single complete sentence since morning and now her questions do not seem to end.
He watched her speak to them and inquire about their stay. It was a little breather when she mentioned about the well being of others as well. He was delighted…she cares…she loves but she stops herself…restrains herself. It was time to leave…the announcement was done but she didn’t even bother. He gestured her to finish the call but she was nowhere listening to him. He sighed and pulled away the phone from her.
“we shall talk to you later beta..we have to get into the flight…yeah take care…love you…bye”
He looked at her…she looked really irritated…upset..angry. this time he didn’t waver. He held her close and walked towards the entrance. She sat quietly in the flight still upset. She felt him sit beside her in the business class. There were very few people around and he was glad to get a privacy. The flight took off at scheduled time and kept himself indulged in his files. There was some important meeting the next day. He felt her head over his shoulder. He looked at her to see her slipping over him. She had slept off. He smiled and wrapped his hand around her and pulled her close, leaning more on to him till she was comfortable. He pulled the blanket around them and kept on reading his files for a longer time. It was really tiring. He dozed off soon holding her tight.
They landed in Mumbai around 7 in the morning. She still looked tired and sleep deprived. He had planned everything out. The car was there to pick them up. All this while he kept her close in his arms. They reached their farmhouse in half an hour which overlooked the Arabian sea. It was a beautiful place with a small garden surrounding it and in the middle was the house… small but warm. She walked in looking around. He carried the luggage in and called for the cook to make their breakfast.
He saw her look around the place. He held her hand and squeezed it gently, “this is our farmhouse here… its very calm and serene…you’ll love it.”
She didn’t push him away this time but didn’t hold him back either. The cook was back in a few minutes and served them breakfast. He was getting continuous call from office. He settled their things in their bedroom and took his laptop and files. Before leaving he placed a peck on her lips, “got an important client…will be back soon. I have asked the maid to be here… you better take proper rest..”
He was gone in the wink of an eye. She stood there like a statue…everything was so quick that she couldn’t even guess what had happened but he felt his touch over her lips. Her fingers gently caressed those petals… was she wavering? She can’t…she reminded herself. She won’t be able to take any more hurt…she had to stop her heart from wavering. All these days, his care…his love…his concern was grabbing her attention. She tried hard to ignore it all. She changed into her casuals and slept off.
He had a real busy day in office. His meetings got extended and he knew he’d be late to her. he sneaked a moment and called her around lunch time. She woke up with his call and answered drowsily, “umm..hello…”
His lips instantly curved into a smile hearing her. he guessed she was sleeping and that cute voice actually made him go gaga over. He wanted to rush to her and pull her cheeks.
“geet…did you have your lunch?”
“umm…”, she was still sleepy. She didn’t even properly what spoke.
“geet…are you listening? Say something… are you done with your lunch?”
There was no answer on the other side. He could hear her faint breathing…soft and calming. She had probably slept off again. He tried to wake her up but then left it and called the maid itself, asking if geet had taken her lunch.
“maam has not come out of her room yet…she might be sleeping.”
“umm…just keep the food on the table..and be there with her lest she needed anything.”
He finished the call and walked into the meeting again. There was some presentation going on but all he could hear was the faint sound of her breaths that left his breathless. It was like a sweet melody to his ears…not that he had never watched her sleep..in fact he’d stay awake the whole night on the pretext of working and watch her, it was more of his new found feelings for her that everything looked new and refreshing. He just wanted her in his arms and hold her close in his embrace feeling her. he wished the meeting got over as soon as possible so that he could get back to her.
She woke up around 5 in the evening. She had been sleeping for so long. She felt her tummy rumble and walked out to the kitchen. The maid was still there, waiting for her. she saw her go to the kitchen and called her, “ma’am…your food is here…i will heat it up and get it to you…”
She asked geet to sit while she heated up the food and served her. it was simple..rice, dal and sabzi but it was tasty. She dismissed the maid for the day after she was done.
“umm..no you go i will make it…”
The maid was gone and she decided to take a walk around the garden. The grass was soft and wet. It was well maintained perhaps. She looked at the red sky and the sound of the sea reaching her ears. She took off her slippers and walked barefoot, feeling the wetness under her skin. It was really very calm and serene as maan had told her…she actually liked this solitude. Usually she kept herself busy with the kids…but this was something really very different. She roamed around till it was dark and walked it, thinking of making dinner. He wasn’t even back yet.
Maan’s day was totally hectic. The more he wanted to get home early, the more he got held up…so much to an extent that he couldn’t even find time to breath, forget calling her. it was around 7:30 when he actually finished with his work. He sat in the car and took out the dairy that he had found in his laptop bag. Would she be waiting for him? Did she have her lunch properly? He gestured the driver to get going and opened the dairy again and ran his hand over their joined names. She had written the date of its opening… he read it and thought for a while.. it was more than 7 years ago he remembered…she was in her 2nd year probably. He couldn’t even imagine he had actually caught hold of the eye of the storm. He turned over to the first entry and checked the date and caressed it softly, trying to guess she might be in her 2nd year in college.
“there is no limit to what i wouldn’t do for you
Just ask for it and it will be done…
No matter the miles
No matter the sacrifice!!!”
He sat numb reading those lines… simple but it pierced his soul like never before. Just by reading them he knew they were meant for him…it was for him. His eyes moistened…he never knew she even felt like this when she was hardly 19 or 20. He felt himself shiver with the intensity of her words… no matter the miles…no matter the sacrifice. It reminded him of the days she was away from him…those 5 years…when he had been so restless…what she might have undergone! He closed it and looked out of the window..they were just entering their farmhouse. How will he face her now?? He wanted to hug her tight…make her feel loved and tell her how he felt about her. he kept the diary inside and walked inside. He kept his files and laptop on the table and looked around for her.
He heard some noises from the kitchen and walked towards the source. He stood there by the door, leaning against its frame and watched her scurry through the utensils. She was cooking something…and the smell was just delicious. But he was more into her. she had her dupatta tied across her waist, her hair messily tied in a bun, her forehead sparkling with the droplets of sweat and that look on her face. He felt so much calm seeing her like that…but what could he do to make her feel loved…cared for! He wanted her to lower her barrier for once and tell him what bothered her…but her antics were just making him lose his focus.
She felt a piercing gaze all over her and looked up to see him standing right in front of her. there was something in him that she couldn’t understand… like something new that she was unaware of. She twitched her brows and got back to work, not wanting to lose herself. He sighed and walked towards the hall and stood there for a while. He just wanted to make her feel special for once. He switched on the tv and sat there for a while thinking what could he do. He saw her walk past him, straightening her dupatta. He didn’t want her to go. He just held her hand and pulled her closer to him. It was more of a reflex but his hold was firm. There was some random song playing in that channel which gave his courage to move ahead.
Mein kaise bhuloon chahat ki wo barsatein
hear this lovely song by atif aslam as you read
She fell over him startled by that sudden pull and slowly looked up to see his face. He looked so vulnerable…like he had so many things to tell her but he can’t. She felt his hand slide around her waist and press her to him while the other hand laced with her fingers.
Tu hi mera dil hain…
Tu hi meri jaan…
He swept her across the floor, swaying her to the music. He was lost in his own thoughts…in the feel that he had discovered just now..and in her! but she was confused. What was wrong with him? Was he okay? Whatever it was…she wasn’t liking it. She tried to move away but he held her firm.
Kabhi tho paas mere aao
Kabhi tho nazrien mujhse milao
Kabhi tho dil se dil ko milao oh jaana…
He left her waist and looked directly into her eyes. There was confusion and that unkown barrier. He felt himself so light…like he wasn’t even alive. He caressed her cheeks ever so softly…with so much love and desire… something she had never felt in him from the day she was back in km. Her lashes dropped and she tried to look away from him. He was affecting her…he was making her think stuffs she had refrained from.
Meri jaan palkein yun na jhukana
Meri jaan mujhse dur na jana
Meri jaan mujhko bhool na jaa oh jaana…
He was losing himself in her proximity. He held her chin and made her look at him. She read that…he didn’t like her looking away. She tried to stop herself…but somewhere deep within his every gesture affected her. why was it happening? It wasn’t so back in km… what difference did it make with them being alone? At the end she will be the one to get hurt right..then what the point in even trying. She stilled as she felt his warm lips touch that tender skin on over her throat…what was he doing? More importantly why was he doing? She tried to push him away knowing she’d melt…she cant let that happen.
Mujhe lauta de..wo mera pyaar…
Mujhe lauta de wo mera pyaar…
She couldn’t bear that intensity in his eyes. What was wrong with her today..why was she swaying in sync with him… she was all fine till today but no things seemed to go haywire. That love…pain..desire everything oozed out in his one look..like he was in pain for not finding her…he loved her…he desired her. she tried to push him yet again and he felt it. He roughly twirled her around and loosened her hand.
She quickly freed her hands from him and took a step back…trying to hold on to herself. She can’t get weak.. she just cannot get weak. But his glance was enough to make her quiver with the battle she fought within. She took a few more steps away from him and turned her back to him. This was so not right…nothing was right. she was getting swayed away by him.
Mein tera hi deewana hoon
Teri baatein kabhi mein bhool na paaun
She felt him hug her tightly from the back. His breath was uneven and his heart was beating erratically. She tried to move away but he kissed her cheek and picked her up in his arms, and walked towards their room.
Mein tera hi deewana hoon
Teri baatein kabhi mein bhool na paaun
He looked deep into her eyes that faltered her heart. She was actually feeling something… that cold wall was being breached…she hated it all so much but least did she know that her love for him was still somewhere alive which he was completely aware of. It was trying hard to break free but she suppressed herself. She tried to move away…push him but he seemed to hold her even tighter.
Tu hi mera dil hain
Tu hi meri jaan…
Ohh yaara kyun khafa ho mujhse
Ohh yaara kyun juda ho mujhse
Ohh yaara mera pyaar hai tujhse oh jaana…
She hit him… scratched him as he gently lowered her on the bed and caressed her lips with his thumb. She stilled for a moment…going completely blank. He wanted to cream out his love to her but seeing that denial actually made him angry…its been a long time. His patience was giving away but still…he wanted to make her feel special.
Tere bin dil lagi hai adhoori
Tere bin aashiqui hai adhoori
Mujhe milna hai tujhse zaruri oh jaana…
She felt his body’s weight on hers as his fingers laced with her softer ones. She didn’t hold him back but she went completely blank…relieving those moments that were once a dream for her and now a dreaded nightmare.
He placed a soft kiss on her cheek and slid down further to the hollow of her neck. He kissed her every so sensually that actually elicited a moan from her, “maan…no…”
He couldn’t even hear her words but her moan did push him to the edge. He traced his tongue up her neckline relishing that taste of her delectable skin which burned him more than fire. But she remained still… reliving every moment with him…his love..his touch… every single thing..she went blank as tears welled up in her eyes feeling scared..uncertain and most probably that denial within her.
Mujhe lauta de wo mera pyaar…
Kabhi tho paas mere aao…
Kabhi tho nazrein mujhse milao
Kabhi tho dil se dil ko milao oh jaana…
Her fingers went lifeless..her entire body stopped reacting right there. She closed her eyes letting her tears roll down the corner of her eyes. His one hand had already made its way around her waist beneath her shirt… but he did feel that stillness. He realised what he had been doing..and stopped immediately looking at that lifeless hand that he held.
Meri jaan palkein yun na jhuakana
Meri jaan mujhse dur na jana
Meri jaan mujhko bhool na jaana oh jaana
Tu hi mera dil hai..tu hi meri jaan…
He saw her pale faced with her eyes closed and then that droplet og tear that escaped her eyes… and that was enough to make him feel like filth. How could he lose himself like that? Ohhh god..what was wrong with him…she had anyways distanced herself from him…she’d distance herself even more now. He hated himself to have caused her pain yet again…he just wanted to reach her…thats it..he never wanted to hurt her.
She waited for him to finish off whatever he started…she didn’t have it in her to bear it all over again. She held her breath waiting but the next moment she felt his weight lift off her. she didn’t understand what happened initially…but when the feel was persistent, she dared to open her eyes and found herself all alone on the bed. There was no sign of him in the room as well.
next: maan reading more of geet’s diary