Maan (st): know what geet…I love you! But still I need to be sure of my own feelings..to be clear in what I want!!! I want to know how badly I want you…its going to hurt…but I have to do it…for you…for me…for us! And I’ll give you all the time you need!!!
She again waited for him he whole time in her workplace…will he show up? She prayed her Babaji to send him to her…but as the clock ticked away…her heart started sinking slowly…..he didn’t show up! She felt so chocked up from inside!
Rahul and Dan had come up again..to talk to her…but she didn’t even look at them! They could see how she was breaking down…staring at the clock and running to the door whenever the bell jingled abd her disappointment! It was so obvious that they were confirmed that she was longing for Maan! They looked at each other…if Maan didn’t show up, they are going to make them face each other….even they are tired of all this drama for almost a week!
That day Rahul and Dan left home early and there were a few customers! Geet sat by the grand piano lost in her thoughts…looking at something in infinity..and she knew not when preeto had come and sat beside her!
Preeto couldn’t see geet like this…she has been seeing her withdrawn from everyone for so many days..maan wasn’t showing up either and she knew geet was breaking down from inside….trying to figure out something, she guessed! There was no laughter….the twinkle she had seen in her eyes after Maan came into her life has just vanished…. She has stopped talking to everyone there..even to raj and Nini! That was not the geet she had known all this time!
She put her hand on her shoulder, “geet“
Geet didn’t respond…she looked at something into infinity!
Preeto shook her and she did come back to reality this time!
“geet..kahan khoyi hain tu? Kya hua hai tujhe?“
Geet shook her head for a No and looked down. Preeto went closer and lifted her face by her chin to meet her eyes! Her lashes dropped as a reflex!
“ab mujhse bhi chupane lagi hain tu? Bata kya baat hain geet…Maan se aisi bhi kya baat ho gayi jo tu iss tarah ekdum se….”
And geet just cut her in between, “to mein kya karoon bhabhi..aakhir aisi bhi kya galati ho gayi mujhse ke wo meri ore dekhte bhi nahi?“
Preeto held her hands and patted them gently, “tune unse baat karne ki koshish ki?“
She again shook her head…all she had been doing all these days was averting her gaze and running away from him! Jasmeet’s words last night just came back to her!
“agar itni hi takleef ho rahi hian to unke paas ja…baat ko samajhne aur samjhane ki koshish kar geet..tu bhaag kyun rahi hain?“
Her eyes welled up, “baat to karna chahti hoon bhabhi…bas himmat nahi ho rahi! Meine unko kitna hurt kiya…darr lagta hain kahin humesha ki tarah kho na doon….kahin unhone meri baat nahi suni to?? Unse nazrein milana bhi mushkil ho gaya hain….if he doesn’t forgive?“
Preeto smiled at her innocence, “tujhe ho kya gaya hain geet…for the 1st time I saw you fearing something so much! Sun geet…tu bina koshish kiye haar kaise Maan baithi han? Maan tujhse bahut pyaar karte hain…wo teri baat nahi sunein…aisa ho hi nahi sakta!“
Geet stared at her…. what did preeto just say???
“haan pagli…..unki aankhon mein saaf dikhta hian…I don’t know what happened between you two but one thing I know for sure is if you want him back..you have to LET GO!“
Another interesting struck her and she forgot the 1st one!
“to let go??“
“and what does that mean bhabhi?“
Preeto was surprised to see this side of geet…she didn’t know what was “to let go” or how “to let go”…no wonder she was breaking down!
“what does it mean to “let go” bhabhi?” she asked again!
“to “let go” means…umm…erm..yes.. it means to break free from all your fears, inhibitions …and anyting that holds you back!“
“is it so?“
“yes geet…letting go of all the things that you are holding back in that little heart of yours…..that is suffocating you…may be your sadness or the pain or the tears…and even the happiness!“
Geet thought for a while…true, her heart was unbearably heavy..for things she’d been hiding inside that tiny things since so long…she wanted to “let go”…..but sadly, she didn’t know how to!!!
“how does it feel like bhabhi?” she asked ever so innocently….like a little kid being taught new things!
“umm..let me think…..erm..yeah…once you let go of what all you are holding back….even your hesitations, your heart turns 1000 times lighter…you feel free like a bird…soaring high in the sky of peace…it feels like you have won the most important battle of your life! And I bet if you want Maan back in your life…you have to learn to trust him geet…and fight your fears..he will understand geet..believe me he will!“
She was taking time to grasp things which, to her, were like some unknown language! She hasn’t done anything like this ever….she never cried in front of anyone..she never shared her pain..her fears with anyone..not even to her own mother…then how on earth would she understand preeto’s words? Everything to her was a sophisticated lingo!
Preeto sighed understanding the look on her face. She held geet’s hands and made her look at her!
“dekh geet…to be as simple as possible, “to let go” is just the same as deliberately jumping off a cliff with a certain hope that someone is there to catch you!“
With this she got up to leave but turned back again, “think about it geet! To let go also includes something called “trust”…you have to trust people around you…its not that the whole world is full of bad people! Never forget, there are good ones too!“
And she left geet alone to ponder over her words and find answers to the questions bothering her!
X x x x x x x X
Next day- XIBM
She took a deep breath…yeah she came early today and she IS going to talk to him!
After sometime she saw his car! She ran towards him but before she could get to him, he was gone! She went to his class and peeped in!
Maan did see her….but he needs to prove his heart…he wanted to know how bad can he long for her…something that would decide his fate with her….something that would make sure she is special to him…remind him to keep her happy always!
Not wanting to, he turned away and pretended to talk to his friends!
May be he was busy—she convinced herself and walked back to her class!
The whole day she made excuses to go and peep into his class…go near him….but he turned away from her everytime! She she convinced herself everytime…he was busy..he had to study…etc…etc…etc…
She came to college early..again! 3 days and no matter how much she convinces herself, she couldn’t help from crying herself to slep!
No…he’d talk to her the next day….!!! She had probably gone back to the old Sweetu who lived on nothing but expectations…
‘Expectations’…funny word isn’t it?? The more you expect from someone…the more you are hurt! Yet she couldn’t stop! Tomorrow was the day he’d speak to her—her nights ended with this thought!
The whole day she tried to talk to him..again and again…and he ignored! Well it was getting obvious now…so all these days he had been ignoring her..it seemed like that! a sharp knife cut through her heart…why was he doing this?
Dan sat there worried with the things going on between Maan and geet. They had tried to bring them to a face off…geet agreed easily while Maan had ignored and walked off!
Maan joined him…he looked just fine…just the way he was with them but still Dan and Rahul were more worried about geet!
After sometime Rahul and geet arrived! Her heart skipped a beat seeing him there….yes he’d listen to her today!!!! Her heart jumped! Itni bhi kya berukhi? She made a cute baby face trying to shrug off traces of any negative feeling!
“uff..his gussa and his stupid silent treatment!” she thought to herself trying to smile!
All the four sat together chatting here and there….except Maan and geet to each other! She stole glances at him from time to time but he ignored! He didn’t even talk to her!
She was anyways holding back way to much and things were becoming unbearable now..tears stung the corner of her eyes…why doesn’t he talk to her…look at her??? she’d been yearning for his one look for so long…..
Maan did notice those tears even though they were far from falling out! It was not easy for him either….call it his stubbornness or ignorance…
But ignoring HER…knowing well how much it hurts her..that was unbearable for him too! God knows how he survived all these days!
Maan (st): a little more….i know am pushing it….just a little more…its hard to survive..even breathe without seeing your face…but just this one day and I’ll bring that smile back on your face!
He stood up to leave unable to bear the look on her face..geet was surprised! But she got up immediately along with him…why was he leaving? Gosh..no… she has to talk to him! The moment he turned, she just held his hand,
He turned to look at her…he died a million deaths there and then seeing her breaking down…but what he did was the last thing she could take!
He jerked away her hand and walked off! She stood there frozen….the only thing that moved in her were those warm tears from her eyes down her cheeks!
Rahul and Dan stood up…shocked by such turn of events…they had never seen tears in geet’s eyes..and this time they really detested Maan!
Dan held geet’s hands, “geet..don’t worry..he..he is just being a stubborn ass! We’ll knock some sense into his good-for-nothing brain!“
Rahul: geet..don’t cry! Just wait here…and we’ll be back with that jerk right now! Someone needs to apologise!
Geet looked at the duo and then at the retreating figure of Maan…she took a few steps back, turned and left from there…her head hung low!
Rahul and Dan ran to Maan who was on his way back to class! They blocked his way and glared at him!
Dan: what do you think of yourself Maan? What the hell you think you are doing to her?
Rahul: do you even know what has she been going through all these days?
They described her condition in the caf..how she’d jump everytime the bell chimed…her following him the whole day just to talk to him for once…
Dan (shouting): you love her right? Well she does too… just stop torturing her you moron!
When he didn’t reply, both just walked away giving him a disappointed look!
As the day came to an end…she slowly walked out of the college gate completely oblivious to her surrounding! She didn’t even have the knowledge that her car was still parked somewhere inside the college premises!
She just walked away with her bag…slowly disappearing into the crowd…still alone and cold…things were just becoming painfully unbearable…